citizenjane's Diaryland Diary

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my deafening self

26march afternoon

there's something about floating in 25 gallons or so of really warm water. if you put your head under, you can hear yourself breath and when you kick your feet around the sound is almost deafening.

sometimes i take baths that are not meant for physical cleansing. i deliberately get in and don't worry about washing my hair or scrubbing any bodyparts or adding any oil or bubbles. i just listen to the deafening sound of my motion.

when i can no longer ignore the chilling of the water, i get out. this ritual somehow helps me to put my mind and soul back together. and if i'm lucky, i smile in a slow, sleepy way that doesn't tell me i am myself again.

it reminds me that i never lost myself to begin with.

16:27:29 - 2000-03-26

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